Ah! Me so……depressed.
Okay, so I’m official out of high school, but unfortunately I’m still being affected by that hormone ridden place. So here is the story in a nutshell , ever since the beginning of the year I have had a huge crush on a junior girl in my journalism class. In class we talked and joked around, but I think I might have been to open with her. During a religious conversation I voiced my views a little to loudly, but it did not seem to bother her, she being a Christian and all I was surprised.
Well I recently got Facebook, and she wanted to be my first add. I talk to her almost everyday on there, but she is also talking with this guy who is openly in love with her. As they get closer and closer to forming a relationship, I get more and more depressed. I should have known that I could never have her, and now I know that, but I’m still fucking depressed.
Recently she has been sick, so of course he wrote in his status that he prayed that she would get well, yet she told me that he wants to sleep with her. Oh crap there I go talking about religion again, but it pisses me off that Christians think they can pick and choose which rules to follow.
Anyway, I do not know how to get over her, I also do not know if I should stay friends with her, or just stop talking to her because of the pain it causes me. Man I sound emo. If you have any advice feel free to comment. Peace out.
May 21, 2008 at 11:01 am
This guy who leaves these things on Facebook sounds manipulative and weak. If he knew anything about reality, he’d know if he loved someone, he wouldn’t go out of his way to depress them or take on the form of baggage she can’t move past without action. That is passive abuse.
Of course, although the person is ignorant, we must keep in mind he probably isn’t aware of his unskillful behavior. The sad truth is, these people often need to be ditched in order to come to their senses. Sometimes they do. Sometimes no. Even if the guy were to commit suicide, that would be his valid choice. Trying to prevent that is practically useless.
All a person burdened by such an individual can do (i.e., the girl you are into) is shut the individual out if she thinks he is pinning her down, and pursue relationships without her. Also, you could talk to her about how you feel he is controlling her. This is sink or swim, and this person is no child. There is no right or wrong answer here. This is all suffering, and existential action (or waiting things out) is all that pushes things forward.
Action is a more drastic measure. I don’t recommend it unless you are passively approaching the girl while putting your intentions for pursuing a relationship aside. If she sees you are being authentic, she’ll know you really care about her, and not just whether you get involved with her or not.
This behavior (of the other male) in very common in this time period. I’ve seen it several, several times in obsessive individuals. It occurs most prominently in males, who, since they are not confident in themselves through the traditional sense of masculine dominance, assert themselves through pity, guilt, and other similar bullshit.